I've always been that weak bitch everyone knew. I've always wanted to be strong. How? I often ask myself. It's difficult. I'm sick and tired of crying all day. I'm sick and tired of doing this and that but nothing happens. Why? ALL CAUSE IM WEAK.

I will be strong. I will be, i know i will because i'm sick and tired of being weak. I want to be strong. I need to learn to stand up on my own two feet.

To all my readers (if i even have any), you guys. Be strong. Because being weak isn't the answer. Bring strong is. Stand up, be independent and learn to speak up for yourself. Only then will you be confident of yourself. 

"Don't depend to much on anyone in this world. Because even your own dark shadow leaves you in the darkness"

 Sometimes, i wonder. Why is this happening to me? I've never wanted this in life. I have never wished for this to happen. Then again, i tell myself. God has his reasons for doing this. God wants me to be a stronger girl. Maybe that's why he's doing this.

My dearest girl Alvira always tells me "They don't know what you've been through. Why try so hard pleasing others? This is your life not theirs. You live to please yourself. Not others". And i've finally learnt to apply this to myself. Why try so hard? This society judges too much. They judge at every single fuck that you do. They can say whatever they want. They can do whatever to bring you down. But in the end, it is YOUR LIFE. You live your own life and you choose what you wanna do with it.

 In my 16 years of life, I had many bestfriends. I experienced the many fights, stupid silly acts, the love and everything bestfriends do. I neglect my old friends sometimes. I neglect them when i make new friends. But right now, i just want to tell my best friend i love her so much for all that she has done for me. I don't know if she'll be reading this but... Goh Jingwen, thank you for being a part of my life. I remember the promises we made. I'll never forget 'em. Don't worry. I may have neglected  you but i will always love you. :')

This period of time, i've learnt who was there for me and who was not. And i really want to thank this bunch of girls who was there for me no matter what happened. 

Alvira Haryanto, Izen Chua, Tan Cindy, Jane Ang, Goh JingWen.

I really don't know what to say to you guys because you guys have been there for me during my darkest period. You guys have been giving me the motivation, giving me the strength to push on. I thank you, and i love you guys so much.

I'm definitely not forgetting the bitch who was there for me no matter what. My elder sister, Erica Theodora Tan I miss you. You know I'm just 8 numbers away right? Please cheer up. Whatever that's bothering you. I love you, sis. I really do. And my god sister Jessica Mae Vitug. I realised, we never really talk. But when we do, we've so much stories to share. You've been there for me since we were 3. You've gone through EVERYTHING with me. First boyfriend, worst breakup, EVERYTHING. I love you, slut.

And i'm not forgetting the BOYS (hehehe) who never left me too.

Edwin Goh, Caleb Kee

Thank you for being there for me as guy friends. For always making me smile/ laugh. You guys mean so much.

 I never want to lose ANYONE.  Trust me, each and everyone of you are important. Even if you are just a random follower of mine or a random reader, i just want to say i love you guys :-*

The clique. Gaya, YiTeng, Natasha, Nisa. You guys, still mean so much to me. Thank you for all that you've done for me. For the laughters and joy that you guys have given to me as friends. I'll NEVER forget anything.

 

It's true that you need someone, but don't you think it's alright to be alone at times? Hmm. Got me thinking.

Oh, and right before i end this post, I just want to thank this special person who has entered my life. This special person who made my night, who makes me laugh non-stop who's there for me, who listens to me like how a friend would, (aiya, inserts all positive things in this tiny paragraph).

Foo Fang Rong, i haven't forgotten you okay. Thank you for being there for me. I love you so much. *inserts many pedo face and purple hearts*

Okay, time to end this lengthy post. Goodnight guys!