Memories.

I know, i've been going on about the same things over and over again. But no matter how much i fucking try to get over you, something pulls me back. An inner voice tells me i'll regret it. Then flashbacks come. The happy moments we used to have. We used to be happy. remember?

I'm sorry, i'm not that perfect girl. I'm not barbie doll. I can't fucking give you everything you want. I cannot always be there for you and our relationship CANNOT be perfect because nobody is perfect. Girls, they're fucking sensitive creatures. Do something to hurt them and that's the fucking end of everything. Yeah, we're sorry for being too insecure. Sorry for being too clingy. Sorry for always being so FUCKING PARANOID. That's how girls are. We're afraid that someone out there will be better. We're afraid to be REPLACED. We're sorry.

Yeah, probably at point of times. You guys don't wanna hurt us girls. But lying to us? It hurts so fucking much to use a fucking lie to cover up the truth when we already know it. Yeah sure, you lie to us. And how long do you think THAT LIE will be kept? How long do you think you can keep that lie before it gets exposed? Girls, they'll find out it out sooner or later. Don't lie.

So.... You guys do all these to get a girl. After getting her, what do you do? It's either you continue loving her or you dump her aside. If you're not ready to commit yourself to a girl. DON'T. Because you guys don't how much it can fucking hurt. Guys, never tell a girl these 3 words "I love you." if you don't mean it. Why? Because girls will be stupid enough to actually BELIEVE what you say.

Trust. How is it important in a relationship? No trust = no love. GUYS, FUCKING TRUST YOUR GIRLS. No trust, how the fuckery are you guys gonna have a stable relationship? You guys are gonna quarrel every single day of your relationship? Then you're gonna fucking end it because of some stupid misunderstanding? Fuck you all. Girls, they want a GUY BESTFRIEND. Girls feel better with guys, because there are no dramas. No backstabbing and all. Guys, put yourselves in their shoes. You guys don't get affected if you get BACKSTABBED OR LIED TO BY YOUR BESTFRIEND. Girls, they go through a lot. Understand them. Trust them. Will you?

My heart's broken. It's been a month or so since the break up happened. And i thought that one day, perhaps i'd have the chance to be yours again. I always tell my friends "Yeah, i'll get over him....... i will. i'll try my best." Truth is, i'm not. Neither am i trying to. I don't know why either. I don't know why i choose to make myself suffer. I don't know why i'm being so foolish here.

Sometimes, i wanna kill you. I WANNA FUCKING STAB AND FUCKING PLACE A GUN AT YOUR CHEST. But at times, i want to do the same to myself. I wanna place a knife at my chest and stab myself. To see which hurts more. A heartbreak, or that stab in the heart.

I must agree, we've probably drifted after i came back from Cambodia. My mistake. I didn't realize how much you meant to me. Till you were gone. That's when i truly learnt how appreciate you. I'm sorry.

My heart will always be with you. Even if i get together with another guy in the future, i know that i can never love anybody else like how i loved you. Because my love for you was more than what i could give to anyone else. You were my number 1.

Even at my happiest moments, i think of you. I may be smiling on the outside. But have you ever thought of it as fake smiles? I've never been truly happy after the break up. All i could ever think of was <b>YOU</b>

"I love you". But you love someone else. It hurts. So fucking much but you mean so much to me. And seeing you happy at times, MAKES ME WANNA FUCKING STAB YOU. I'm serious. Many people may say "As long as the person i love is happy, i will be happy". Just to let you know, i'm not that type of person. I'm the type of person who wants to make your life a living hell. I'm sorry. No more Miss Nice girl here.

Stupid mistakes cause heartbreaks. How i fucking agree with this. Because of a fucking mistake i did, all this happened. If only i didn't talk to HIM all this wouldn't have happened. I'm so fucking sorry for all the hurt i caused you. I'm sorry.... No matter how much i say sorry, i know the scars in your heart will stay. So will mine. I'M SORRY.

I miss how we used to be so happy.

I miss going over to your house to watch movies and sleep next to you. Waking up next to you was what i loved most..

I miss you being so vain. Oh, and i spot someone next to you. *Waves @ spongey* .

My love.

The first time.... i brought my bf to a family dinner on my birthday. it was the best birthday ever.

During the accelerator ride. ;)

@ USS.

@ MBS.

True love. may it forever be in bloom.

I wanted to grow old with you..

YAY.

And then, you met my sister. I still remember you complaining to me after my bro-in-law after you guys shook hands because he shake damn hard. hahahahah weakling :p

On our first year, this was your gift for me. Happy 1st year baby. Our dream house ;)

Playing with my nephew. I always imagine if you'll ever treat our son that day. Now.... i don't know.

And at times in our relationship...... I feel like boxing you.

OUR SUPA FAILED EGG TARTS. HAHA.

Sometimes.... i wonder how old you are.

"I camera shy la"

"NOOOO. TAKE PICTURE OF MY BUTT INSTEAD" HAHAHAHHA. OK I LUV YA.

"I LIKE TO DIG MY NOSE" HAHAHHA KIDDING. Ok love you.

That magical moment when your lips were on mine.

On our 4th month, 10.10.10, You did this for me. Lighted candles outside saying "I love you". This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. And all my friends were jealous :p

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BABY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU"

First ever picture with you taken last June 2010 ;-)

I still remember you sent me this cause i was sad. And it was after we broke up. ;)

M + C = LOVE.

11.11.11. 11.11pm ;-)



I love you. So much. I beg of you, don't forget me. And the memories we had once. Erica told me this "You can wait. But without all these misery. Drop everything you guys had once. The expectations. When he comes back to you, you'll be happier". I'm trying. I really am. I miss bubu. :( Let him meet me again! Takecare of spongey and piggy okiez. I'll definitely take care of the elmos, bear and spongey that you gave me. ;) And till now... i'm still wearing the ring my aunt bought for us for chirstmas. I still read our past conversations and i still think of the memories we used to have. I miss you, so much.


10062010, CALEBKEEYONGKAI'S


and everything came crashing down on the 01122011....